"Allow me to read you your rights: You have the right to remain silent, and give me candy. Anything you say can and will be ignored, in lieu of receiving said candy. You have the right to an attorney, made of gingerbread. Your delicious gingerbread attorney may be present while you give me candy. If you cannot afford a gingerbread attorney, one will be provided for you, most likely made of Ike & Ikes. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you? Yes? Then step AWAY from the apple, please. SLOWLY."